Humor – January 25

SIGNS YOU’RE GETTING OLDER

~ You got cable for the Weather Channel (sometimes referred to as “Old Folks MTV”).

~ You keep repeating yourself.

~ You discover bifocals are stylish.

~ When you do the “Hokey Pokey” you put your left hip out…and you can’t get it back around.

~ Relatives smile benignly rather than interrupt you as you retell the same story for the zillionth time.

~ You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.

~ Conversations with people your own age often turn into “dueling ailments.”

~ People don’t harass you any more when you take an afternoon nap.

~ Your social security number only has three digits.

~ In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

~ Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

~ No one expects you to run into a burning building.

~ Restaurants stop asking to see your senior discount card.

~ People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

~ There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.

~ Things you buy now won’t wear out.

~ You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

One Liner
I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Thought for the day
The Bible says in 1 Peter 2:9, “You are a chosen people” (NIV). That ought to raise your self-esteem! Christ has accepted you — not based on your performance, something that you earned, or something that you deserve. God simply says, “I chose you.”

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