Humor – August 29

NEW MEDICAL LEAVE & RELATED POLICIES

SICKNESS: We will no longer accept doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, then you are able to go to work.

OPERATIONS: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all that you have. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you as you are. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

DEATH OF OTHERS: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon, we will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave

1 hour early, provided your share of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.

YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to train your replacement.

RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with ‘A’ will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with ‘B’ will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you’re unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. This exchange must be approved by both employees’ supervisors.

One Liner
A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

Thought for the day
For I’m already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:6-7 (NIV)

The fact is – life is a series of transitions. We’re born; we grow up; we go to school; we graduate; we get jobs; we change jobs; we retire; we die.

Transitions in life can be a lonely time. We can even be lonely in a crowd; it doesn’t make any difference how many people are surrounding us. It’s our relationship with those people that makes a difference.

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