There were 11 people hanging on to a rope that came down from a helicopter. Ten were men and one woman.

They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech on how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children and giving in to men.

All of the men started clapping…

One Liner
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Thought for the day
Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. Romans 12:5

Service is the pathway to real significance. It is through ministry that we discover the meaning of our lives. 

Contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t the apple on the tree that got us banished from Paradise.
It was the pair on the ground.

One Liner
Why are quite a few the same as quite a lot?

Thought for the day
“I want you to think about how all this makes you more significant, not less … because of what you are a part of.” 1 Corinthians 12:14a, 19

As we serve together in God’s family, our lives take on eternal importance. God wants to use you to make a difference in his world. He wants to work through you. What matters is not the duration of your life, but the donation of it. Not how long you lived, but how you lived.

A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect!”

“Really?” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?”

“Twelve thirty…”

One Liner
If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Thought for the day
So then, my friends, because of God’s great mercy to us I appeal to you: Offer yourselves as a living sacrifice to God, dedicated to his service and pleasing to him. This is the true worship that you should offer. Romans 12:1-2

Offering yourself to God is what worship is all about. This act of personal surrender is called many things: consecration, making Jesus Lord, taking up your cross, dying to self, yielding to the Spirit.

What matters is that you do it, not what you call it. God wants your life. All of it — 95% is not enough.

Did You Ever Wonder?

– If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
– If cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
– Why is the word abbreviation so long?
– If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
– Is it possible to be totally partial?
– What’s another word for thesaurus?
– Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
– Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
– Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
– How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
– When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
– Why do they call it a TV set when you get only one?
– What was the best thing before sliced bread?
– What do people in China call their good plates?

One liner
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Thought for the day
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” John 8:36

When you realize how much God loves you, you’ll begin to live in true freedom.

A little boy came home from Sunday School and went into his room to change clothes.

When he emerged, he asked his mother, “Is it true that we came from dust?”

His mother replied, “Yes, dear. God made us from dust.”

The kid ran back into his room and came out all excited: “Mom, I just looked under my bed, and there’s somebody either coming or going!”

One Liner
Do pie companies have a lot of turnovers?

Thought for the day
The Bible says, “The Lord … makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image” 2 Corinthians 3:18b

This process of changing us to be more like Jesus is called sanctification.