DICTIONARY FOR THE CHURCH

AMEN:
The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN:
1) Air conditioning.
2) Your receipt for attending services.

CHOIR:
A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HYMN:
A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than the congregation’s range.

HYMN, RECESSIONAL:
The last song, often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

JONAH:
The original “Jaws” story.

MAGI:
The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

One LINER
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

Thought for the day
Do not boast about [what you’re going to do] tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth. Proverbs 27:1 (NIV)

Timeless principles for uncertain future:
1.  Let God set your goals
2.  Live one day at a time
3.  Don’t procrastinate