Humor – April 18

FOR WOMEN ONLY
~ Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobic class pulls a hamstring.

~ Women over 50 don’t have babies, because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

~ One of life’s mysteries is how a 2 lb. box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

~ The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

~ Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!

~ I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

~ If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?

One Liner
He who lives in a glass house should not invite in he who is without sin.

Thought for the day
Romans 12:1 says, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God — this is your true and proper worship”

The problem with a living sacrifice is that it can choose to crawl off the altar. We do this all the time. We offer ourselves to God, and then we take ourselves back. This is not a once-for-all offer. You’ve got to do it four, five, or maybe 10 times a day!

 

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