A visitor to the town approached a local person and asked, “What’s the quickest way to the next town?” 

The local, scratched his head, “Are you walking or driving?” he asked the stranger.

“I’m driving,” said the stranger.

“Well, that’s the quickest way.”

One Liner
I called my financial adviser this morning and asked him what I should be buying. He said, “Canned goods and ammunition.”