Father O’Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He said, “The trouble with the world today is that some people have too much and others have too little. We must give of ourselves and our worldly goods to help the less fortunate.” 

He said to Paddy, “If you had ten thousand pounds, wouldn’t you give half of it to the poor?” 

He said, “I would that, Father.” 

The priest said, “If you had two greyhounds, wouldn’t you give one of them to your neighbour next door?” 

Paddy said, “No.” 

The priest said, “And why not?” 

He said, “I have two greyhounds.” 

One Liner
Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.