Monthly Archives: September 2021

Humor – September 20

Two bats are going for their midnight feed. After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.

The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, “Where did you get all that blood from?”

The second bat replies, “Follow me. I’ll show you.”

After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, “You see that wall over there?”

The hungry bat excitedly says, “Yes!”

Other bat says, “I didn’t.”

One Liner
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

Humor – September 17

One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about her son, a college student: “Why our son is so brilliant, every time we get an email from him we have to go dictionary.com.”

“You’re lucky,” the neighbor said. “Every time we get an email from our son in college, we have to go to the bank.”

One Liner
I’ve found that growing up in the 60s was a lot more fun than being in my 60s.

Humor – September 16

A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two chairs provided for men outside the ladies fitting room in our local department store. After 30 minutes and 6 changes of outfits, the fellow’s wife came out of the changing room one more time. He looked at her and immediately said, “That looks great on you! Get that one.”

“Honey,” she replied, “this is what I was wearing when we came in.”

One Liner
It’s been a strange day! First, I found a hat full of money on the sidewalk. Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar.

Humor – September 14

Real Estate Agent: “This house has its good points and its bad points. The disadvantages are a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north.”

Prospective Buyer: “Yikes. What are the advantages?”

Agent: “You can always tell which way the wind is blowing.”

One Liner
I wonder what my dog named me.

Humor – September 13

A dog was so clever that his owner sent him to college. Home for vacation, the dog admitted he had learned neither history nor science, but added proudly, “I did make a good start in foreign languages.”

“Okay,” replied the owner, “say something in a foreign language.”

The dog said, “Meow!”

One Liner
Saying “Have a nice day” sounds friendly. But saying “Enjoy your next 24 hours” sounds threatening.