SIGNS YOU’RE OVERDOING THANKSGIVING

~ Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.

~ Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

~ You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth’s axis.

~ You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses.

~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.

~ The “Gravy Boat” your wife set out was a real 12′ boat!

~ The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.

~ Your “Old Elvis Super-Belt” won’t even go around your waist.

~ You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.

~ You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.

~ Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

One Liner

Thanksgiving is great because people tend to speak less when food is lodged in their mouths.