A conceited new rookie was pitching his first game.

He walked the first five men he faced and the manager took him out of the game.

The rookie slammed his glove on the ground as he yelled, “That jerk took me out when I had a no-hitter going!”

One Liner
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on the carpet/rug are directly correlated to the newness and cost of that carpet/rug.