Two guys walking on the beach found an old brass lamp. The first guy immediately started rubbing it and, sure enough, a Genie popped out!
Before he could say anything at all, the Genie turned him into a crab.
The other guy was horrified and shouted, “Oh my gosh! Why did you do that??”
The Genie said, “Aww, he just rubbed me the wrong way.”
One Liner
When a kid says, “Daddy, I want Mommy,” that’s the kid version of, “I want to see your supervisor.”
While my third-grade class was completing a writing exercise, one of the students asked me how to spell “piranha.”
I told him I was unsure. To my delight, he went to the dictionary to solve his problem.
That’s when I overheard another pupil say to him, “Why bother to look it up? She doesn’t know how to spell it anyway.”
One Liner
When a kid says, Daddy, I want Mommy, thats the kid version of, I want to see your supervisor.
The flight home from a recent business trip was pretty empty. So the pilot made a simple request of the passengers.
“We have a little extra room tonight, folks,” he said over the PA system. “So if you wouldn’t mind, please take a window seat so the competition thinks the plane is full.”
One Liner
What state has a LOT of dirty laundry? Washington.
JOY IN THE JOURNEY
In a remote village in Central America the word got out among the peoples of the region that one of the American missionaries that had served this country for many years was about to return to the US to live our the remaining years of her life.
The nationals desired to honor her for her years of service with a public time of appreciation. News of the event went to all parts of the country in which the missionary was known to the people. One very old and very poor man walked to the ceremony over mountainous terrain for 4 days to bring his gift to the missionary.
The gift consisted of 2 coconuts, but it was all the man had. The missionary recognized the man as coming from the remote village in the mountains.
“Brother, I cannot believe that you would walk so far to present me with this gift,” said the missionary to the man.
His response?
“Long walk part of gift.”
One Liner
Joy is contagious. Commit to being a carrier.
I received another letter from the electric company yesterday.
It had “Final Notice” written on the envelope.
Good.
They won’t be bothering me anymore.
One Liner
A chrysanthemum by any other name would be much easier to spell.
At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going overseas. One lad, having received his whole series of injections, asked for a glass of water.
“What’s the matter?” asked the hospital corpsman. “Do you feel light-headed?”
“No, just checking to see if I’m still watertight.”
One Liner
The older you get the better you get. Unless youre a banana.
mikeshumor 