CHRISTMAS IQ TEST

Find your Christmas IQ, and forward to friends and family so they can find theirs! No cheating! (That’s not the Christmas spirit! But the answers are at the bottom
) May these precious moments put more sock in your stocking, more egg in your nog, and more curl in your bow…

Each answer is a title from a famous Christmas song:

1. A dude made of Frozen Water named for Wendy’s dessert drink (10 points)

2. Why Rudolph can’t get insurance (10 points)

3. Globalizing dishwashing detergent (10 points)

4. He who doesn’t talk at the Round Table (10 points)

5. Southern ladies in AARP (10 points)

Bonus: The song of septuplets (25 points)

ANSWERS:

1. A dude made of Frozen Water named for Wendy’s dessert drink: “Frosty the Snowman” (10 points) 

2. Why Rudolph can’t get insurance: “Grandma Got Runover By a Reindeer” (10 points)

3. Globalizing dishwashing detergent: “Joy to the World!” (10 points)

4. He who doesn’t talk at the Round Table: “Silent Night (Knight!)” (10 points)

5. Southern ladies in AARP: “Silver Bells (Belles!)” (10 points)

BONUS: The song of septuplets: “What Child is this?” (25 points) 

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TOTAL SCORE 

75 points = Some would say you’re a Christmas genius. Others would say you really need to get a life.

50 – 65 points = You probably cheated…but hey, way to go. You must really like “The Far Side”

30 – 40 points = Good job. Your Christmas I.Q. is way above average.

10 – 20 points = You’re normal. Be grateful.

0 points = Thanks for playing. Try again next year…

One Liner

If your grandma got run over by a reindeer, you may be entitled to compensation.

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.

Little Johnny interrupted, “My dad looked back once, while he was driving,” he announced triumphantly, “and he turned into a telephone pole!”

One Liner
I submitted ten puns to a contest, hoping one might win the prize, but no pun in ten did.

Thought for the day
Isaiah 43:7 says, “Bring to me all the people who are mine, whom I made for my glory, whom I formed and made” (NCV).

If you didn’t bring glory to God, you wouldn’t be alive. God made you to enjoy you!

Lawyerese

The Wall Street Journal recently quoted the following comment by Robert H. Mundheim, general counsel of the U.S. Treasury Department.

“When an ordinary man wants to give an orange to another, he would merely say, ‘I give you this orange.’ But when a lawyer does it, he says it in this way:

‘Know all men by these presents that I hereby give, grant, bargain, sell, release, convey, transfer, and quitclaim all my right, title, interest, benefit, and use whatever in, of and concerning this chattel, otherwise known as an orange or citrus orantium, together with all the appurtenances thereto of skin, pulp, pip, rind, seeds, and juice, to have and to hold the said orange together with its skin, pulp, pip, rind, seeds, and juice for his own use and behoove, to himself and his heirs in fee simple forever, free from a liens, encumbrances, easements, limitations, restraints, or conditions whatsoever, any and all prior deeds, transfers or other documents whatsoever, not or anywhere made to the contrary notwithstanding, with full power to bite, cut, suck, or otherwise eat the said orange or give away the same, with or without its skin, pulp, pip, rind, seeds or juice.’

One Liner
“I hope I live to be as old as my jokes.”

Thought for the day
“Look out for the good of others” (1 Corinthians 10:24b NCV).

Kindness always begins with the eyes — the way you observe the world and are sensitive to the needs of other people.