A four-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited … and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, “If I thank God for the broccoli, won’t he know that I’m lying?”

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Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

Thought for the day  
He saved us and he called us to be his own people, not because of what we have done, but because of his own purpose and grace. 2 Timothy 1:9 (TEV)

The Bible also teaches that Jesus came to save you for something. God has a purpose and a plan for your life; he created you for a specific mission.

While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. “If you get a train,” I would tell each one, “you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that okay?”

The usual answer was a quick yes, but after I asked one boy this question, he became very quiet. Trying to move the conversation along, I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him. He promptly replied, “Another train.”

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Q: Which of Santa’s reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
A: Rude-olph.

Thought for the day  
I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question? Romans 7:24 (MSG)

God never wastes energy. He doesn’t waste effort on things that are unnecessary. In other words, if you didn’t need a Savior, he wouldn’t have sent one. The very fact that God sent a Savior means you need one.

TOP 5 THINGS OVERHEAD ON THE WISE MEN’S JOURNEY TO BETHLEHEM

5. You know, I used to go to school with a girl name Beth Lehem.

4. What kind of name is Balthazar anyhow?  Phoenician?

3. Hey, do you either of you know why “MYRRH” is spelled with a “Y” instead of a “U”?

2. Okay, who forgot to give their camel a bath before we left?

1. Whaddya mean we’ll be part of history?  A year from now, nobody will have a clue why we did this.

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Q: What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
A: Comet.

Thought for the day   
God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9 (NLT)

God gives you what you need, not what you deserve. Grace is when God says, “I’m going to take your problem and make it my problem.” Grace is God’s Riches given to you At Christ’s Expense.

CHURCH SIGN

A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a parishioner call the sign company.

The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the dimensions needed for the entryway.

The sign came back a few days later… “Unto Mary Jesus was born, six feet long and two feet wide.”

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Research has determined that the shelf life of fruitcake is longer than the shelf.

Thought for the day
“But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out there tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!” 2 Chronicles 20:17 (NLT)

What God tells Jehoshaphat in this passage, and what he would remind us today, is this: “The battle is not yours; it’s mine. You don’t have to fight in it.”

In other words, it’s God’s problem. Let him solve it.

Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth; Goodwill to Men; and Batteries not included.

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He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree.

Thought for the day
While Peter was wondering about the meaning of the vision, the men sent by Cornelius found out where Simon’s house was and stopped at the gate. Acts 10:17 (NIV)

Oswald Chambers described God as the Great Engineer, creating circumstances to bring about moments in our lives of divine importance, leading us to such divine appointments.

When you stop believing in Santa Claus
is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.

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I told Santa you were good this year….and
He hasn’t stopped laughing since!

Thought for the day 
At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. … All returned to their own towns to register for this census. (Luke 2:1, 3 NLT)

Can you believe it’s almost Christmas? Praise God for the gift of his Son, our Lord, Jesus Christ, who was born as a baby in Bethlehem!

A little girl asked her father, “How did the human race come about?”

The father answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made.”

Two days later she asks her mother the same question.

The mother answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them.”

The confused girl returns to her father and says: “Dad, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Mom says we developed from monkeys?”

The Father answers, “That’s simple, honey. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your mother told you about her side.”

One Liner
Bad thoughts are like germs. Build up your immunity!

Thought for the day
Job 37:5-6
God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’

Isn’t that a beautiful phrase! “God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding.” Praise Him – praise Him!!!

Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way home they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in.

He addresses the man behind the counter: “Are you the owner?”

The pharmacist answers: “Yes.”

Jacob: “Do you sell heart medication?”

Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”

Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”

Pharmacist: “All kinds.”

Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”

Pharmacist: “Definitely.”

Jacob: “Medicine for memory?”

Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety.”

Jacob: “What about vitamins and sleeping pills?”

Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jacob: “What about sugar diabetes. We both got bad cases.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, but of course. You name it with that condition and we have the works.”

Jacob: “You have loose bladder and gas pills?”

Pharmacist: “Yes, there are lots of those with plenty of generics.”

Jacob: “Perfect! We’d like to register here for our wedding gifts.”

One Liner
Can I trade this job for what’s behind door number 2?

Thought for the day  
“Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways” (Proverbs 20:30 GNT).

Failure has its benefits. It teaches you what doesn’t work. Thomas Edison, the great inventor, said, “Don’t call it a failure. Call it an education!”

Failure also causes you to reevaluate what’s important in life. God uses failure as one way to get you to reflect on the direction of your life.

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.

“Great idea!” the chicken cried. “Let’s offer them ham and eggs?”

“Not so fast,” said the pig. “For you, that’s a contribution. For me, it’s a total commitment.”

One Liner
“A closed mouth gathers no foot.”

Thought for the day  
Two robbers were crucified with him, one on his right and one on his left.  Matthew 27:38

Our Ministry model is THE CROSS.  Dying men on both sides, Jesus reached out 1 hand to a believer and another to an unbeliever.