SAY A PRAYER

Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. “Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer,” said his mother.

“I don’t need to,” the boy replied.

“Of course, you do,” his mother insisted. “We always say a prayer before eating at our house.”

“That’s at our house,” Johnny explained. “But this is grandma’s house and she knows how to cook!”

One Liner
“Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.”‘

Thought for the day
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9 NIV).

Failure is never final. You’re never a failure until you quit, and it’s always too soon to quit!

EQUALITY

When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, “And all girls.” This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.  My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”

She replied, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men.'”

One Liner
My daughter says I’m nosy. At least, that’s what she wrote in her diary.

Thought for the day
“I know that your love will last for all time, that your faithfulness is as permanent as the sky” Psalm 89:2 

There’s a limit to human love. It wears out. It dries up.  That’s why you have to have God’s love in all your relationships if they are going to last. God’s love never wears out. God’s love is patient, persistent, and persevering.

A woman invited some people from church to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.

“Just say what you’ve heard Mommy say before,” the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

One Liner
End procrastination … tomorrow!

Thought for the day
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?” (Luke 6:32a NIV)

His point is this: All of us can love those who love us back. Becoming a master lover means you learn to love the unlovable.

Police Report”

A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were:

Q – What warning was given by you?
A – Horn.

Q – What warning was given by the other party?
A – Moo.

One Liner
“The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.”

Thought for the day 
“Let everything you do reflect your love of the truth and the fact that you are in dead earnest about it”  Titus 2:7b

Even though you do’t understand all that is in the Bible – The truth is …. It is a map that always takes me where it promises.

“Morning Run”

The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: “Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Johnson will be setting the pace on our morning run.”

With this the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Johnson was overweight and terribly slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: “Now for the bad news. Private Johnson will be driving a truck.”

One Liner
Two keys hang in an undertaker’s office – one for the organ in the chapel; the other for one of the cars in the garage.

Two small signs above the keys read “Hymn” and “Hearse.”

Thought for the day
“Jesus told him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me’” John 14:6

Jesus says, “I am the truth.” He doesn’t say truth is a religion, a ritual, or a set of rules and regulations. He says “I.” Truth is a person.  – Rick Warren