A newlywed young man was sitting on the porch on a hot, humid day, sipping iced tea with his father.

As he talked about adult life, marriage, responsibilities, and obligations, the father thoughtfully stirred the ice cubes in his glass and cast a clear, sober look on his son.

“Never forget your friends,” he advised, “they will become more important as you get older.”

“Regardless of how much you love your family and the children you happen to have, you will always need friends. Remember to go out with them occasionally, do activities with them, call them ..”

“What strange advice!” Thought the young man. “I just entered the married world, I am an adult and surely my wife and the family that we will start will be everything I need to make sense of my life.”

Yet he obeyed his father. He kept in touch with his friends and annually increased their number. Over the years, he became aware that his father knew what he was talking about.

Inasmuch as time and nature carry out their designs and mysteries on a man, friends were the bulwarks of his life.

After 60 years of life, here is what he learned:

Time passes.

Life goes on.

Distance separates.

Children grow up and become independent; it breaks the parents’ hearts, but the children become separated from the parents.

Jobs come and go.

Illusions, desires, attraction, sex weaken.

People do not do what they should do.

The heart breaks.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget the favors.

The races are over.

But true friends are always there, no matter how many miles away they are or for how long.

A friend is never more distant than the reach of a need, intervening in your favor, waiting for you with open arms or blessing your life.

When we started this adventure called LIFE, we did not know of the incredible joys or sorrows that were ahead. We did not know how much we would need from each other. Love your parents, take care of your children, and keep a group of good friends too.

One Liner

The best mirror is a good friend. 

AGE IS A FUNNY THING 

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. 

“How old are you?” 
“I’m 4 and half.” 

You’re never 36 and a half, but you are 4 and a half going on 5! That’s the key. You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number. 

“How old are you?” 
“I’m gonna be 16.” 

You could be 12, but you’re gonna be 16. 

And then the greatest day of your life happens: you become 21. Even the words sounds like a ceremony–you BECOME 21. YES!!!! But then you turn 30. Ooohhh, what happened here?? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED. We had to throw him out. There’s no fun now. What’s wrong?? What changed??? 

You BECOME 21,
you TURN 30,
then you’re PUSHING 40…stay over there, it’s all slipping away… 

You BECOME 21,
you TURN 30,
you’re PUSHING 40,
you REACH 50…my dreams are gone… 

You BECOME 21,
you TURN 30,
you’re PUSHING 40,
you REACH 50
and then you MAKE IT to 60…Whew! I didn’t think I’d make it. 

You BECOME 21,
you TURN 30,
you’re PUSHING 40,
you REACH 50,
you MAKE IT to 60,
and by then you’ve built up so much speed, you HIT 70! 

After that, it’s a day-by-day thing. You HIT Wednesday, you get into your 80s, you HIT lunch. 

I mean my grandmother won’t even buy green bananas: “Well it’s an investment, you know, and maybe a bad one.” 

And it doesn’t end there…into the 90’s, you start going backwards: I was JUST 92. Then a strange thing happens, if you make it over 100, you become a little kid again: I’m 100 and a half!! 

Age is a funny thing.

One Liner

Why put off ’til tomorrow what you’ll never do anyway?

An elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Andy had carved “I love you, Sally.”

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money – fifty-thousand dollars!

Andy said, “We’ve got to give it back.”

Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

The next day, two FBI agents were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door. “Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?” 

Sally said, “No.”

Andy said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”

Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”

The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.

One says: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”

Andy said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday…”

The other FBI agent turns to her partner and says, “We’re outta here.”

One Liner

You know you’ve reached middle age when you when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.

Two guys walking on the beach found an old brass lamp.  The first guy immediately started rubbing it and, sure enough, a Genie popped out!
Before he could say anything at all, the Genie turned him into a crab.

The other guy was horrified and shouted, “Oh my gosh! Why did you do that??”

The Genie said, “Aww, he just rubbed me the wrong way.”

One Liner

When a kid says, “Daddy, I want Mommy,” that’s the kid version of, “I want to see your supervisor.”

While my third-grade class was completing a writing exercise, one of the students asked me how to spell “piranha.”

I told him I was unsure. To my delight, he went to the dictionary to solve his problem.

That’s when I overheard another pupil say to him, “Why bother to look it up? She doesn’t know how to spell it anyway.”

One Liner

When a kid says, “Daddy, I want Mommy,” that’s the kid version of, “I want to see your supervisor.”

The flight home from a recent business trip was pretty empty. So the pilot made a simple request of the passengers. 

“We have a little extra room tonight, folks,” he said over the PA system. “So if you wouldn’t mind, please take a window seat so the competition thinks the plane is full.”

One Liner

What state has a LOT of dirty laundry? Washington.