Humor – January 3

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS YOU CAN KEEP, part 2

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can ACTUALLY accomplish?

Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

~ Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.

~ Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.

~ Spend my summer vacation in cyberspace.

~ Create loose ends.

~ Get more toys.

~ Get further in debt.

~ Don’t believe politicians.

~ Break at least one traffic law.

~ Don’t drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.

~ Don’t swim with piranhas or sharks.

~ Spread out priorities beyond the ability to keep track of them.

~ Wait for opportunity to knock.

~ Focus on the faults of others.

~ Mope about faults.

~ Never make New Year’s resolutions again.

One LINER
These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter…I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I’m here after.

Thought for the day
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Philippians 4:6 (NLT)

When we no longer worry, when we pray about everything, when we give thanks, when we focus on the right things, the apostle Paul tells us the result is, “The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7 NLT).

 

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