Humor – August 24

THINGS YOU DON’T HEAR ANYMORE…

~ Be sure to refill the ice trays – we’re going to have company after while.

~ Watch for the postman – I want to get this letter to Aunt Mary in the mail today.

~ Quit slamming the screen door when you are on your way out!

~ Don’t forget to wind the clock before you go to bed.

~ Why can’t you remember to roll up your pant legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain so many times is tearing them up.

~ You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there is nothing left to put a patch on.

~ Don’t you go outside with your good school clothes on!

~ Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle.

~ Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won’t have to pay a deposit on another one.

~ Quit jumping on the floor! I have a cake in the oven and you are going to make it fall if you don’t quit!

~ Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by – I need to get a few things from him.

~ You can walk to the store; it won’t hurt you to get some exercise.

~ Don’t sit too close to the TV. It is hard on your eyes.

~ Get out from under the sewing machine; pumping it messes up the thread!

~ Go out to the well and draw a bucket of water so I can wash dishes.

~ No! I don’t have nine cents for you to go to the show. Do you think money grows on trees?

~ It is time for your system to get cleaned out. I am going to give you a dose of castor oil tonight.

~ If you get a spanking in school and I find out about it, you’ll get another one when you get home.

~ Quit crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!

One Liner
When a freight train passes, no one says, “It sounded just like a tornado!”

Thought for the day
1 Corinthians 2:9
As it is written: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.

Many of the things we anticipate and dream about are much less glorious in real life than they were in our imaginations. There is one event, however, that is better than we can imagine and beyond our wildest dreams. When Jesus returns to take us home to be with our Father, it will be far better than we can ask, imagine, dream or think.

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