Humor – April 4

I’M A SENIOR CITIZEN & proud of it – I’m the life of the party…even when it lasts until 8 p.m.

I’m very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.

I’m usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

I’m the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.

I’m awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.

I’m smiling all the time because I can’t hear a word you’re saying.

I’m very good at telling stories…over and over and over and over.

I’m aware that other people’s grandchildren are not as bright as mine.

I’m not grouchy, I just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians…

I’m sure everything I can’t find is in a secure place.

I’m wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just my left leg.

I’m having trouble remembering simple words like…uhhhh…ummmm

I’m realizing that aging is not for sissies.

If you are what you eat, I’m Shredded Wheat and All Bran.

I’m sure they are making adults much younger these days.

I’m wondering, if you’re only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?

I’m supporting all movements now…by eating bran, prunes, and raisins.

I’m a walking storeroom of facts…I’ve just lost the storeroom.

I’m a SENIOR CITIZEN…and I think I am having the time of my life!!

Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I would send it to others! You didn’t send it, did you?

One Liner
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Thought for the day
“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” (Galatians 6:7 NIV)

Forgiveness is not a contract with God, as in, “You forgive me and I get my old life back.” Forgiveness is God’s choice; it emerges from his infinite love. He paid a bloody, costly price to forgive you, even as you were still steeped in sin.

God will forgive you, but that doesn’t mean he’ll remove the consequences of your sin.

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