Mother’s Dictionary of Meanings
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full Name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Independent: How we want our children to be for as long as they do everything we say.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it, and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it and wiping it with saliva.
Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-Minute Warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar-grunting noises.
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Instead of saying hello, my mom gets on the phone and says, “Guess who died?”
Thought for the day
Matthew 6:27 says, “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (NIV).
When you worry about a problem, it doesn’t bring you one inch closer to a solution. It’s like sitting in a rocking chair — a lot of activity, energy, and motion, but no progress. Worry doesn’t change anything except you. It makes you miserable!