he teacher asked her students, “Who can tell me what the ruler of Russia was called?”

“Czar,” the class replied in unison.

“Correct. And what was his wife called?”

“Czarina,” the class replied.

“Good! And what were his children called?”

A timid voice piped up, “Czardines?”

One Liner

Telling a person to calm down is about like baptizing a cat.