Judy was having trouble with her computer at work so she called Joe, the company’s computer guy, over to her desk. 

Joe clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem quickly.  

As he was walking away, Judy called after him, “So, what was wrong?”  

And he replied, “It was an ID ten T error.” 

A puzzled expression ran over Judy’s face, “An ID ten T error? What’s that…in case I need to fix it again?” 

He gave her a grin, “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?” 

“No,” replied Judy. 

“Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.” 

So she did…

I D 1 0 T

One Liner

What animals are the most spiritual? Chipmonks.

A young doctor was just setting up his first office. 

His secretary told him there was a man to see him. The doctor wanted to make the man think that he was successful and very busy. So he told his secretary to show the man in and at that moment he picked up his phone and pretended to be having a conversation with a patient. 

The man waited patiently until the “conversation” was completed.

Once he hung up, the doctor asked, “Can I help you?”

To which the man replied “No, I’m just here to connect your telephone.”

One Liner

The proper response to “Good morning” is not “Prove it!”

The golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. He was understandably upset, and sought out the farmer.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “my terrible tee-shot hit one of your hens and killed it. Can I replace the hen?”

“I don’t know about that,” replied the farmer, mulling it over. “How many eggs a day do you lay?”

One Liner

The best thing about being 40 or older is that we did all our stupid stuff before the internet existed so there’s no proof.

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” 

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she said. “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.” 

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.” 

One Liner

Started to go to the gym this morning and couldn’t find my membership card. And new one is $15. A donut and coffee was $5. Guess who saved $10?!

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday.

A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those jazzy 4-Wheel drive vehicles.”

“She did,” he replied. “But where in the world was I going to find a fake jeep!!”

One Liner

“The starting pay is $40,000. Later it can go up to $80,000.”  “Great. I’ll start later.”

I caught my son chewing on electrical cords.

So I had to ground him.

He’s doing better currently.

And conducting himself properly.

One Liner

“Normal” is a setting on a washing machine.

A driver got a speeding ticket and went to pay the fine.

The police clerk issued a receipt for payment and the annoyed driver said,
“What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Keep it,” the clerk advised. “If you collect enough of them, you get a
bicycle!

One Liner

“Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40-minute flute solo.”

They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. 

My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car’s ignition. He’s afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. 

Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: “I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.” 

There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. “Are you kidding me?” he barked, “I dropped you off!” 

Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.” 

He retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn’t steal your car!” 

One Liner

Pros & cons of making food: Pro – food; Con – making.