Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on

One LINER
My father is so old when he was in school history was called current affairs.

Thought for the day
Smile on me, your servant; teach me the right way to live. Psalm 119:135

The Smile of God is the goal of your life.

Thanks for the Soda, Pop!
Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father’s instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. I finished the trip safely.

One LINER
We child-proofed our home 3 years ago but they’re still getting in.

Thought for the day
“A gentle word can get through to the hard-headed.” – Proverbs 25:15b

Ever met anyone who is hard headed? I’ve met a few – plus I find myself at times to be that way as well. May we learn from this proverb and speak a gentle word from God to help penetrate the heart of the hard headed person! “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” James 1:19

The Fatherhood Cycle

4 years: “My Daddy can do anything.”

7 years: “My Dad knows a lot, a whole lot.”

12 years: “Oh, well – naturally – Father doesn’t know that either.”

14 years: “Father? Hopelessly old-fashioned.”

21 years: “Oh, that man is so out-of-date. What did you expect?”

25 years: “He knows a little bit about it – but not much.”

30 years: “Maybe we ought to find out what Dad thinks.”

35 years: “Let’s ask Dad what he would do before we make a decision.”

40 years: “I wonder what Dad would have thought about that? He was pretty smart.”

50 years: “My Dad knew absolutely everything.”

60 years: “I’d give anything if Dad were here so I could talk this over with him. I really miss that man.”

One Liner
I dedicate this show to my daad who was a roofer … so dad if you are up there … – Stewart Francis

Thought for the day
“Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you . . . it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives” Hebrews 12:15

Job refused to become bitter and resentful. Bitterness prolongs pain. It doesn’t relieve it; it only reinforces it.

Little Johnny and his friend Billy were on their very first train ride, with Billy’s mother.

A vendor came down the corridor selling a candy bar that neither had ever seen before.

Billy’s mom bought each one of them a bar.

Little Johnny eagerly tore open the wrapper and bit a bit off into his mouth just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across at

Billy and said: “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”

“Why not?” asked Billy.

Little Johnny replied, “I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”

One Liner
“As a child, I was the kind my mother wouldn’t let me play with.”

Thought for the day
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me” (Psalm 18:19 NIV).

God expands the possibilities for your life because he delights in you. He doesn’t just love you; he finds joy in you!

A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart. “Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!”

The woman, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, “Ah, Mozart. You’re so right. I love him. Only this morning I saw him getting on the No. 5 bus going to Coney Island.”

There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at her. Her husband was mortified. He pulled her away and whispered, “We’re leaving right now. Get your coat and let’s get out of here.”

As they drove home, he kept muttering to himself. Finally his wife turned to him. “You’re angry about something.”

“Oh really? You noticed?” he sneered. “I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life! You saw Mozart take the No. 5 bus to Coney Island? Your crazy! Don’t you know the No. 5 bus doesn’t go out to Coney Island?”

One Liner
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Thought for the day
In every place of worship, I want men to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, free from anger and controversy. I Timothy 2:8
 
Some of the men argued when they should have been praying.  Let us lift up holy hands to almighty God in praise and worship!

Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time, and she headed straight for Space Mountain.

I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted.

To her delight, we rode it twice.

The next year we returned to the Magic Kingdom, and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain.

As we stood in line, though, I could see her soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride’s speed.

“Dad,” she said, “I don’t think I want to go.”

I asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time. She replied, “This year I can read.”

One Liner
I have a super power. I can read my own thoughts.

Thought for the day
Honor the Lord with your possessions and with the first produce of your entire harvest; then your barns will be completely filled, and your vats will overflow with new wine. Proverbs 3:9-10 (HCSB)

The purpose of tithing is to teach us to always put God first in our lives. God doesn’t need our money.  He wants what it represents: our gratitude, our priorities and our faith.

THE SENILITY PRAYER :

Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.

One LINER
~ Laughter is like changing a baby’s diaper: It doesn’t permanently solve any problems, but it makes things more acceptable for awhile.

Thought for the day
“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” (Jeremiah 29:11 MSG).

If you try to play God, attempting to control everything and everyone around you, depression will eventually catch up with you.