Ruth and Esther meet for the first time in fifty years since high school.

Ruth begins to tell Esther about her children. “My son is a doctor and he’s got four kids. My daughter is a lawyer and she has three great kids. So tell me Esther, how about your kids?”

Esther replies, “Unfortunately, Morty and I don’t have any children and so we have no grandchildren either.” 

Ruth says, “No children? … and no grandkids? So tell me, Esther, what do you do for aggravation?”

One Liner
“No, I’m not going to give up trying to become The Invisible Man: Have I made myself clear?”

Thought for the day
“You search the Scriptures because you believe they give you eternal life. And the Scriptures point to me!” (John 5:39 NLT)

We’re not really studying the Bible until we do two things. First, write down what we’ve learned, and, second, talk it over with others. God will change your life when you do these two things.

“Do you love me with all your heart and soul?” asked Becky on Valentines Day.

“Mmm hmm,” grunted Dave.

“Do you think I’m the most beautiful girl on the planet?” 

“Mmm hmm.”

“Do you think my lips are like rose petals?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“Oh Dave,” gushed Becky, “you say the most beautiful things!”

One Liner
Here’s to love – the only fire for which there is no insurance.

Thought for the day
“God, are you avoiding me? Where are you when I need you?” (Psalm 10:1 MSG)

We all hit walls at times in our relationship with God.  We simply can’t judge our quiet times by emotions. Why? Emotions lie. Feelings come and go. Some days it’ll feel like heaven just opened up for you, and you have a great time with God. Then there are other days your quiet time will seem ordinary and bland. Don’t expect to have great and glorious experiences every single morning. The issue is consistency.

Joe’s wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asked, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?”

Looking over her carefully, Joe replied, “Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.”

“Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed.

“Hey, wait a minute!” Joe interrupted.

“I haven’t added them up yet.”

One Liner
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Thought for the day
“Some men arrived carrying a paraplegic on a stretcher. They were looking for a way to get into the house and set him before Jesus. When they couldn’t find a way in because of the crowd, they went up on the roof, removed some tiles, and let him down in the middle of everyone, right in front of Jesus. Impressed by their bold belief, he said, ‘Friend, I forgive your sins.’” (Luke 5:18-20 MSG)

No one is hopeless. When the four friends looked at the paralytic’s condition, they could have responded in doubt: What could Jesus do? Instead, they believed God could heal him — they had faith. The Bible said the paralytic’s sins were forgiven when Jesus saw the faith of the four friends.

There are people all around us who are paralyzed — not necessarily physically paralyzed, but a paralyzed faith. Whether they’re paralyzed by doubts, loneliness, fear, or anything else, the result is the same: They need the faith of the others. 

A Marine Corps drill instructor had just chewed out a new recruit. At the end of his rant, he said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.”

The kid said, “Not me, sir. I promised myself that when I got out of the Marines, I’d never stand in another line.”

One Liner
Really??? Paper beats rock?! Next time someone says, “I’ll throw a rock at you,” just try to only hold up a piece of paper!

Thought for the day
“Anyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13 (LB)

Jesus doesn’t say he’s a good way, or a nice way, or even the best way. He says, “I’m it.”

Little Dewey was one of those holy terrors. 

His dad was surprised when Dewey’s mom suggested that they buy him a bike for his birthday.

“Do you really believe that’ll help improve his behavior?” he said.

“Well, no,” she admitted, “But it’ll spread it over a wider area.”

One Liner
“I have e-mail, a pager, a cell phone, a fax line. I’ve got an answering machine, three phone lines at home, one in my purse, and a phone in my car. The only excuse I have if I don’t return your call is I just don’t like you.”

Thought for the day
“But people who aren’t Christians can’t understand these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them because only those who have the Spirit can understand what the Spirit means.” (1 Corinthians 2:14 NLT)

You have the Holy Spirit inside you. You have the ability to understand when God is telling you to take steps toward his goals for your life. Ask him to teach you to hear his still small voice and to help you take the steps he tells you to take. Then, look for the ways he guides you through the decisions and details of your life.