A truck driver is driving along on the freeway.

A sign comes up that reads “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.

The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?”

The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”

One Liner
Birds have bills, too, and they keep on singing

Thought for the day
“You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. ‘For God loves a person who gives cheerfully’” (2 Corinthians 9:7 NLT).

Generosity isn’t about your wealth. It’s about your willingness to help others, to show love to others, and to honor God.

The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice willing to work long, hard hours.

He instructed the boy, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.”

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith.

One Liner
What do you get when you cross a riddle with a rhetorical question?

Thought for the day
“Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” Matthew 4:4 ESV

You can only truly taste the swee

An artist has a show at the local gallery.  One huge canvas is black with yellow blobs splattered all over it; the next is a murky gray with streaky drips of purple.

A viewer walks over to the artist and says, “I don’t understand your paintings.”

“I paint what I feel inside me,” explains the artist.

“…Have you ever tried Alka-Seltzer?”

One Liner
When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment … now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!

Thought for the day
Psalm 119:103 says, “How sweet your words taste to me; they are sweeter than honey” (NLT).

This Bible is full of nourishment—spiritual food that will keep you healthy, and even lots of desserts.

HOW TO SPELL “POTATO”:

If GH is pronounced P as in hiccough…
If OUGH is pronounced O as in dough…
If PHTH is pronounced T as in Phthisis…
If EIGH is pronounced A as in Neighbor…
If TTE is pronounced T as in Gazette…
If EAU is pronounced O as in Plateau…

Then POTATO could be spelled GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU.

One Liner
When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

Thought for the day
“I am the light for the world! Follow me, and you won’t be walking in the dark. You will have the light that gives life” (John 8:12 CEV).

The Bible says God is light and in him there is no darkness at all. You need to stop focusing on the things that scare you: those bills, those fears, those worries, that stuff that keeps swirling around in your mind. Move your focus off your fears so you can focus on the Father.

KIDS SAY THE FUNNIEST THINGS
DI (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: “How much do I cost?”

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple who were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: “Why is he whispering in her mouth?”

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, “I don’t know what’ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?”

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” Concerned, James asked: “What happened to the flea?”

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for awhile and then asked, “Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?”

One Liner
Ninety percent of being married is just shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Thought for the day
“He and all his family were devout and God-fearing; he gave generously to those in need and prayed to God regularly” Acts 10:2 NIV

What a great legacy! Wouldn’t you like to have people writing that about you and your family one day?

Whether you have children or not, God wants you to leave a legacy like that. You’ll find people younger in age—or younger in the faith—all around you. Will you take the time to help others become what God has made them to be? Would you help them discover God’s mission for their life?

On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, “Dad, I know babies come from mommies’ tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?”

After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, “You don’t have to make up something, Dad. It’s okay if you don’t know the answer.”

One Liner
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.

Thought for the day
“Look out for one another’s interests, not just for your own” (Philippians 2:4 GNT).

When you focus on meeting the needs of other people, God will meet your needs.