Humor – October 9

The following are actual instructions found on the named items:

ON HAIRDRYER INSTRUCTIONS;
– Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS:
– You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP,
– Directions: Use like regular soap.

ON A FROZEN DINNER:
– Serving suggestion: Defrost.

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX:
– Fits one head.

ON TIRIMISU DESERT
– Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING
– Product will be hot after heating

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON
– Do not iron clothes on body

ON CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE
– Do not drive car or operate machinery

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID)
– Warning: may cause drowsiness

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE
– Warning: keep out of children

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
– For indoor or outdoor use only.

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR
– Not to be used for the other use

ON SAINSBURY’S PEANUTS
– Warning: contains nuts

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS
– Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW
– Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands

One Liner
You haven’t had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it’s running.

Thought for the day
Proverbs 17:3, “Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the Lord tests the heart” (NLT).

If God’s going to use you, he’s going to test you first. He wants to be sure you’re ready to handle the power, the blessing, the influence, or whatever else he wants to give you.

 

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