A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor thy father and thy mother,” she asked “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

One Liner
“A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.”

Thought for the day
The Bible says, “It’s crucial that we keep a firm grip on what we’ve heard so that we don’t drift off.” (Hebrews 2:1, Msg)

Keep a spiritual journal where you write down the insights and life lessons God teaches you about him, about yourself, about life, relationships, and everything else. Record these so you can review and remember them and pass them on to the next generation.

And don’t forget to review your spiritual journal regularly – you can avoid a lot of unnecessary pain and heartache.

A pastor places his order at the pet store: “I need at least 50 mice, 2,000 ants and as many of those little silverfish you can get.”

The clerk replies, “We can probably do that, but it might take some time. Mind if I ask why you are placing such an unusual order?”

The pastor replies, “I’ve accepted a call to another church and the pastor’s council told me to leave the parsonage the way I found it.”

One Liner
Today I’m gonna make yesterday jealous.

Thought for the day
“I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving. This will please the Lord” (Psalm 69:30-31 NIV).

We praise God for who he is and we thank God for what he has done. Have you taken time to praise and thank Him today?

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

“Reverend,” said the young man, “sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.”

The minister chuckled, “I know what you mean. It’s the same in my business.”

One Liner
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Thought for the day
Our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him. 2 Corinthians 3:18b (Msg)

Discipleship is the process of conforming to Christ . Christlikeness is your eventual destination, but your journey will last a lifetime. This journey involves believing (through worship), belonging (through fellowship), and becoming (through discipleship).

“Math Symbols”
While reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than ( > ) and a less-than sign ( < ) on the chalkboard and asked, “Does anyone remember what these mean?”

A few moments passed, and then a boy confidently raised his hand. “One means fast-forward,” he exclaimed, “and the other means rewind!”

One Liner
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

Thought for the day
“Our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.” (2 Corinthians 3:18b, Msg)

Real maturity is never the result of a single experience, no matter how powerful or moving. Growth is gradual. Crawl, walk, run …..

“Restaurant Line”

A well-put together, elderly gentleman left his Maserati Gran Turismo with the valet, entered the restaurant and asked to be seated at a table away from a lovely, well-dressed woman who appeared to be in her well-kept eighties.

He ordered a drink and took a sip. He then calmly turned his head in her direction, nodded politely as their eyes met, and asked, “So tell me, sweetheart, do I come here often?”

One Liner
In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

Thought for the day
We are not our own bosses to live or die as we ourselves might choose. Living or dying we follow the Lord. Either way we are his. Romans 14:7-8 (LB)

Surrender doesn’t weaken you, it strengthens you. When you are surrendered to God, you don’t have to fear or surrender to anything or anyone else. The founder of the Salvation Army, William Booth, once said, “The greatness of a man’s power is the measure of his surrender.”

When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become collectors’ items. I went to the bank and picked up a hundred, serially numbered and still in their original band. On my next trip to my parents’ house, I gave the $200 to my mother and said, “Take good care of these. They might be worth something someday.”

Several months later I asked Mom if she was keeping the two-dollar bills safe. “Oh, yes!” she replied. “I deposited them in the bank the day after you left.”

One Liner
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

Thought for the day 
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, “He who is coming will come and will not delay.” Hebrews 10:36-37 (NIV)

If you’re discouraged because of God’s delay in answering your prayers, understand the delay is NOT a denial. Just because the answer or the miracle hasn’t come – yet – that doesn’t mean God isn’t going to answer or that he’s forgotten you or that he doesn’t care about you. It simply means “not yet!”

A doctor goes to the mental hospital to visit his patients. In one room, he sees a man walking around, dragging a toothbrush on a leash. The doctor asks the man: “What are you doing, walking the dog?”

The man replies: “I’m just dragging my toothbrush on a leash.”

The doctor leaves the room amazed, thinking how many normal people end up in mental institutions… And the man says to his toothbrush: “Ha, Fifi, we sure fooled him!”

One Liner
“Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.”

Thought for the day 
“If you think you are too important to help someone in need, you are only fooling yourself. You are really a nobody” (Galatians 6:3 NLT).

The size of the task is irrelevant. The only issue is, does it need to be done?

You will never arrive at the state in life where you’re too important to help with menial tasks. God will never exempt you from the mundane. It’s a vital part of your character curriculum.