Did You Ever Wonder?

– If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
– If cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
– Why is the word abbreviation so long?
– If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
– Is it possible to be totally partial?
– What’s another word for thesaurus?
– Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
– Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
– Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
– How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?
– When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
– Why do they call it a TV set when you get only one?
– What was the best thing before sliced bread?
– What do people in China call their good plates?

One liner
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Thought for the day
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” John 8:36

When you realize how much God loves you, you’ll begin to live in true freedom.

A little boy came home from Sunday School and went into his room to change clothes.

When he emerged, he asked his mother, “Is it true that we came from dust?”

His mother replied, “Yes, dear. God made us from dust.”

The kid ran back into his room and came out all excited: “Mom, I just looked under my bed, and there’s somebody either coming or going!”

One Liner
Do pie companies have a lot of turnovers?

Thought for the day
The Bible says, “The Lord … makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image” 2 Corinthians 3:18b

This process of changing us to be more like Jesus is called sanctification.

A new minister was talking to the oldest member of his congregation.
“I am 90 years old, sir, and I haven’t an enemy in the world,” said the aged one.

“That is a beautiful thought,” said the clergyman approvingly.
“Yes sir,” was the answer. “I’m thankful to say that I’ve outlived them all.”

One Liner
Life is too serious to be taken seriously.

Thought for the day
“God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him” Philippians 2:13

It is the Holy Spirit’s job to produce Christlike character in you.

Gilbert, South Carolina is such a small community, I was surprised that they had a community paper. I asked one old-timer about it.

He replied, “We all know what everybody else is doing, but we like to read the paper anyway to see who’s been caught at it.”

One Liner
“The closest to perfection anyone ever comes is when he or she fills out a job application form.”

Thought for the day
“Put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” Ephesians 4:24

God uses his Word, people, and circumstances to mold us. All three are indispensable for character development.