A American family took their first-grader on a car trip to Canada. To help pass the time, the boy practiced his new reading skills by calling out road signs. He fell asleep just before they entered Quebec.

When he awoke, he looked out his window at the highway signs – now in French – and said in a worried tone, “I think I forgot how to read while I was asleep.”

One Liner
I thank my lucky stars I’m not superstitious!

Thought for the day
“May God, the source of hope, fill you with joy and peace through your faith in him. Then you will overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” Romans 15:13

God is the only source of hope that’ll never disappoint. When we place our faith in him, he provides joy, peace, and hope that overflows.

A father of five young children won a toy at Toys R Us.  Back home, he called his kids together to let them determine which one should have the present.

“Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to Mother? Who does everything she says?”

Five small voices answered in unison: “You, Daddy!”

One Liner
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I drive by again?

Thought for the day
LORD, I remember your judgments from long ago and find comfort. Psalm 119:52

These things the psalmist called to remembrance, and revolved them in his mind, which gave him pleasure and comfort. Let us do the same!

A man was in his usual place in the morning, sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast.

He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player. The player was known primarily for his lack of IQ, common sense, and good looks.

He turned to his wife: “You know, I’ll never understand why the biggest, ugliest jerks always get the most attractive wives.”

His wife replied, “Why thank you, dear!”

One Liner
Evening news is where they begin with “Good evening,” and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Thought for the day
With my whole heart I seek you.  Let me not wander from your commandments!  Psalm 119:10

We MUST SEEK the Lord and His Word … SEEK implies being intentional ……. being proactive!!
 

“Hello, is this Father O’Malley?”
“It is.”
“This is the IRS calling. Can you help us?”
“I can.”
“Do you know a Ted Houlihan?”
“I do.”
“Is he a member of your congregation?”
“He is.”
“Did he donate $10,000 to the church?”
“He will.”

One Liner
What doesn’t kill you will still definitely bum you out.

Thought for the day
I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws. Psalm 119:7
To LEARN God’s Word …….. is to KNOW it.  

A man was walking through a German forest when he saw this deep cave, so he decided to go exploring. He walked in a ways and saw a flickering light far ahead so he walked to it.

He was surprised to find an old man with a large stack of music scores in front of him. The old man was rubbing the notes off of the paper and laying the blank sheets aside.

The walker was astonished when he saw who he thought the man was. It seemed to be Mozart! He asked, “Are you Mozart?”

“Yes”, the old man replied.

“Would that be Wolfgang Mozart?”

Again the reply was “Yes.”

“Well, you’ve been dead for centuries. What are doing rubbing notes off of music?”

The old man looked up, “I’m decomposing!”

One Liner
Birds of a feather flock together – and aim for your car.

Thought for the day
“I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future” Jeremiah 29:11b

Your future is in God’s hands — and there’s no better place for it to be.