Grandma was in the bathroom putting on her makeup under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before.

After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!”

I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.

One Liner
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Thought for the day
“… but deliver us from evil.” (Matthew 6:13 NIV)

The things that are out of your control are not out of God’s control. So pray!

Leading by Example

When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don’t do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, that’s brown-nosing.
When my
boss pleases his boss, that’s co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.

One Liner
“It could be worse: there could be 35 teachers for every student.”

Thought for the day
You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Romans 5:6 (NIV)

Even when we were still powerless, Jesus came to guide us home and to give us an exceedinlg, abaundant life on our journey there. “…When we were still powerless …” suggests we now have power to live that abundant life, to follow Jesus into our destiny – and we do! But it is the power of Jesus working in and through us, not a power we earned or developed on our own.

Little Dewey and his family were having Sunday dinner at his grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Dewey received his plate, he started eating right away.

“Dewey! Please wait until we say our prayer,” said his mother.

“I don’t need to,” the boy replied.

“Of course, you do.” his mother insisted through gritted teeth. “We always say a prayer before eating at our house.”

“That’s at our house,” Dewey explained. “But this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.”

One Liner
“A church member waiting to be asked to serve in his own church is just like the member of a family waiting to be invited to pull weeds in front of the house where he lives.”

Thought for the day
“Then Jesus said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven. …Your faith has saved you; go in peace.” Luke 7:48, 50 (NIV)

Jesus takes our sins seriously and he also takes forgiveness seriously. We need to do the same

A man has to take on up a sport at the advice of his doctor, so he decides
to play tennis.

After a couple of weeks his buddy asks him how he’s doing. “It’s going fine”,
the manager says, “When I’m on the court and I see the ball speeding towards
me my brain immediately says: To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash!
Go back!”

“Really? What happens then?” his friend asks enthusiastically.

“Then my body says: Who? Me? Don’t talk nonsense!”

One Liner 
When people run around and around in circles, we say they are crazy. When
planets do it, we say they are orbiting.

Thought for the day
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. Psalm 46:4

The river of God, is a metaphor for the presence of God, the grace of God, the favor of God that blesses and gladdens His people’s hearts.

Sandra was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing.

The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as Sandra continued to try getting the car to start up again.

Finally Sandra got out of her car and approached the guy in the car behind her.

“I can’t seem to get my car started,” Sandra said, smiling. “Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I’ll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you.”

One Liner
“Politicians and diapers have one thing in common – they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.”

Thought for the day
Hebrews 12:1 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith …”

What Paul is saying is that you don’t want to give up because heaven is watching and cheering for you. That’s encouraging news!